All About Monsanto in Joke Format
No comments · Posted by Grace Joubarne in Articles & Publications, Food, Franken foods, GMO Foods, Health, health risks of GMO foods, Morgellon's Disease, protesting GMO foods, The World According to Monsanto
I am always so incensed at the way Monsanto forces GMO’s onto the world, undermines our democratic rights, single-handedly ruining our food supply world-wide, creating new diseases and running rough-shod over humanity for the almighty buck.
Today I was reading a wonderful blog about how Monsanto moved into Brazil and connived with the government to pass a law to outlaw organics…under penalty of law one is not permitted to grow organic, have organic seeds, educate, talk or promote organics ….well you get the idea!
Here was a wonderful joke on that website which put it all into context in a most humorous way:
Permalink Reply by Vaikunthanath das Kaviraj. on August 7, 2009 at 12:42pm
A farmer named Van was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana, when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the farmer, ‘If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?’
Van looks at the man, obviously a city-slicker and yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers; ‘Sure, Why not?’
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.
Within mere seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data is stored. He then accesses a MSSQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Lastly, he prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP Laser¬Jet printer and finally turns to the farmer and says, ‘You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.’
‘That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,’ says Van.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Van says to the young man, ‘Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?’
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, ‘Okay, why not?’
‘You’re a Representative of Monsanto’, says Van.
‘Wow! That’s correct,’ says the yuppie, ‘but how did you guess that?’
‘No guessing required’, answered the farmer. ‘You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know a thing about cows. This is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog!
Thing is, the reality is not funny…in North America as one blogger at that website mentions, Monsanto is well entrenched in governments around the world and especially in Canada and USA..or maybe the government is well entrenched in Monsanto? Thus, the government ensures that we are kept ignorant by refusing to legislate the labelling of food! We can yell and scream and the government/Monsanto ignores us. But we can eat organic and support the people trying to keep our food supply safe…we can complain vehemently to our grocery store manager and insist he brings in real food, we can inundate our politicians with letters and calls, etc.
Brazil and GMO · Frankenfoods · GE Foods · GMO Foods · Health · health fraud · loss of democratic rights · Monsanto and government · organics outlawed by Monsanto · organics outlawed in Brazil · refusal to label GM foods